In the digital age, social media platforms have become a sprawling landscape for connection and community but for every well-meaning and helpful group there is a flip-side. Online groups occupy the dark corners of the internet where bad actors take advantage of the vulnerable. As the annual 16 days for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and Girls (EVAG) draws to a close, we turn our attention to social media surrogacy groups as this year UN Women calls for an “End to digital violence against all women and girls”.

The alarming escalation of violence against women found online extends to surrogacy as this harmful practice is a form of violence against women, as clarified by the UN Special Rapporteur for VAWG in her report this year. Here, I examine the risk posed by online groups, primarily on Facebook. 

These groups are dangerous for several reasons. They perpetuate the illusion of empowerment through bodily autonomy with subtle language which encourages women to help others and create ‘positive change’ in the world. Women are told they can (and should) share their fertility, spread the joy of family and ‘give a gift’ of a baby to someone, somewhere who cannot, for whatever reason, have a baby themselves. 

For many women considering surrogacy, the prospect of helping others whilst providing a solution to financial difficulty is a no-brainer. The promise of financial ‘compensation’, coupled with the chance to help a family achieve their dream of parenthood, presents surrogacy as a noble act of altruism, the ultimate kindness. But these groups are predatory and deceptive as they hide the deeper exploitative practices. Clinics and agencies entice women in and then make direct approaches, often switching to Direct Messages to dictate the terms and conditions. One woman who got caught up in these groups told us that she wanted to offer herself to a couple abroad as she trusted legal systems in other countries, more than those in her own. 

This single mother was offered money for a positive pregnancy test, more than double that for the heartbeat, more money again for accommodation, transport, a ‘feeding allowance’ and lastly, vastly increased sums for a twin or triplet pregnancy. At no point were the known risks discussed. 

“I really wanted to do it all for my child to have a better life…after helping a family I’d come back to run my business” recognising her narrow escape in a country fraught with exploitation she told us, “I may have been used for a human trafficking scam”. 

Advertising for surrogacy in the UK is illegal but these online groups present a loophole. Where would this illegal action be prosecuted, the UK where the post was viewed or in the country where the platform is registered? How and where should these groups be reported? I have personally reported several predatory groups to Facebook and no action has been taken. A journalist in Nigeria has had better luck. Simbiat Bakare’s investigation resulted in closures of several surrogacy Facebook groups (and we encourage readers to report any concerning posts, particularly those that offer a payment plan, by reporting under the category of ‘sexual and human exploitation’ and then selecting ‘exploitation of people under 18’).

Both couples and single people can post about their desire to be parents and invite potential candidates to message them directly. Professional ‘matchmakers’ have private groups and we often see vulnerable women who are already navigating financial challenges, leap at the chance of being able to earn money this way. By making an arrangement with strangers online a woman can go through a pregnancy, birth and give up parental rights for her newborn in order to support the children she already has.

We understand why this is attractive and have seen countless replies to adverts, mostly from women in Ghana, Nigeria and South Africa, who intend to travel abroad to earn large sums that are simply not available to them at home. The possession of a passport and willingness to travel is mentioned in their replies. 

In surrogacy, women are reduced to mere vessels that meet the desires of wealthier individuals or couples, this power imbalance is plain to see from the thousands of screenshots I have seen personally and it exposes a troubling reality. Here are just a handful of examples. 

The allure of money overshadows the real emotional and physical risks involved in carrying a child for someone else. Playing on their vulnerabilities, agencies and brokers will dress this up as making someone’s dreams come true. How wonderful it must be, to be making wishes a reality for a hopeful couple who badly need your help. You have something they don’t and they are willing to pay for something that comes relatively easily to you. And by doing this lovely, selfless act, you can support your family and even work your way out of poverty.

It’s a harmless win-win for all! But the agencies brokering deals never mention the risks.

I was reminded recently of how it took decades for warnings to be attached to cigarette packets and tobacco companies were marking their own homework as they provided the ‘research‘. (The predictable outcome of these ‘studies’ resulted in more sales and profit for Big Tobacco as the risks were hidden so smokers thought they were safe to carry on.) 

Facebook groups also foster personal narratives that create a false sense of sisterhood (more on this soon) that also downplay the real dangers. The idealised version of surrogacy minimises the significant risks and the transactional nature of these arrangements reinforces this power dynamic and rather than challenging them, these online communities allow surrogacy to fester and grow, unchecked. 

We must remain vigilant against those that seek to commodify women’s bodies for profit and challenge the predatory nature of these exploitative groups. Instead of arguing for surrogacy as a reproductive right, that it is an act of generosity made possible with bodily autonomy, we should say no to it all, so vulnerable women do not take risks with her own lives, their own fertility and their own wellbeing for true empowerment without the biased influence.